Hate Khari ( The beginning of writing)

"In the Vedic system Saraswati ; Chinese: Biàncáitia-n, Thai: Sarasawatee; Japanese: Benzaiten) is the goddess of knowledge, music and the arts. Saraswati- has been identified with the Vedic Saraswati River. She is considered as consort of Brahma. She is the daughter of Durga and is seen alongside her during Durga Puja celebrations along with her sister Lakshmi and her brothers Ganesh and Karthikeya. Saraswati's children are the Vedas, which are the oldest sacred texts of Hinduism."

This is what I have found in the wikipedia, my favorite encylopedia a, searching about our beloved goddess "Devi Saraswati". Bengali people are grown up with goddess saraswati from their childhood days as they are mostly interested in "learning" knowledge for their "earning". If you study well, you will get a good job, a better living. Even the illiterate "Kalidas" became "Mahakabi Kalidas" (The great poet Kalidas) by the grace of goddess Saraswati, so will be you. That is a childhood story, almost all Bengali hear at least once from their parents or elderly relatives, who are brought up in a very "Bengali" culture in true sense.

Saraswati Puja (worship) is a part of Bengali culture and at almost all educational institutions and every Bengali family organize this Puja. If you are a Bengali, you must have been through and may have been part of the "Hate Khari" (first lessions) of children during Saraswati Puja. At the age of three to four, you are supposed to ritually start writing the first letter of Bengali alphabet (same with Sanskrit and Hindi), on this very day. If you want to have a better idea what the ritual is, here is a link of a video, where a little lady starts her writing.

Bristi's Hate Khari

I am writing this post about the "Hate Khari", though keeping in mind the literary meaning of this phrase, I would like to mention some other forms of "Hate Khari" here.

• The eve before Saraswati Puja have a big significance to many Bengali School College students (me as well) for the "Hate Khari" (first lessons) of communicating to the opposite sex. Both boys and girls get a nice chance to mix with themselves in the school and college they read in and staying late there with proper permissions from their parents for the arrangements of the "Puja".
  
• Most of the cases, students of colleges stay the whole night at their institution and therefore get the chance of "Hate Khari" (first lessons) of smoking, drinking liquor or worse.
• The day of Saraswati Puja is an auspicious day again for another kind of "Hate Khari" (first lessons), wearing the traditional dresses of Bengali. "Dhoti - Panjabi (Kurta)" for boys and "Saree" for the girls. Dear reader if you never experienced this, you have missed the most of Saraswati Puja and the Bengali culture as a whole.
• Attires being that of the adults, the school children and college goers look lovely. There are several awards now a days from different Bengali media channels for best looking people on this day. My best wishes to the organizers of such an innovative effort, this certainly add a lot more enthusiasm to the young people for their "Hate Khari" (first lessons) in these attires.
  
• Seeing the future look of their "liked" ones in these attires, getting a great chance to freely talk to them in public, the young people stays in great mood on the day of Saraswati Puja. And this is why it is the known date for the parents to know that Saraswati Puja is also a main occasion for Hate Khari" (first lessons) of love. Yes, most of the school-college level love stories start from this day, and the "liked" ones turn into "loved" ones.
  
• I would also like to mention that, many of us who in our school or college level had organized or had been part of the arranging team, have got their "Hate Khari" (first lessons) in organizing. Later on this experience help them to organize events in future. A beginning lesson in event management.
  

I have mentioned (or tried to mention) about the different "Hate Khari" (first lessons) on this auspicious occasion. Please let me know about your views and experiences in Saraswati Puja, which will enrich me and all the readers. Have a great Saraswati Puja! Wish you all the best.

Durga Puja - Redefined

Though the durga puja is widely celebrated all over West Bengal, all over India and all over the world where Bengali reside, it is Kolkata where one can enjoy the excellence of Bengali in conducting this Puja.

This single sentence will raise a lot of eyebrows towards this post, the writer of this post as well. Non-Bengali indians celebrate the Durga Puja according to the real mythological calander, as they start this puja from the first day of "Devi-Paksha", "Mahalaya", the first day of these 15 days of goddess Durga at her home place. The non-bengali Duga Puja is according to the rituals started by "Sri-Ram" while he was in war with "Ravana", the king of Lanka who stole "Sita". The non-bengali Durga idol has 8 hands in contrast to the idol with 10 hands worshiped by Bengali. Gujrati people stats "Garwa", a dance form around fire, each night from "Mahalaya" to "Maha-Nabami", the nine days festival, named as "Nava-Ratri", followed by the symbolic killing of "Ravana", on the 10th day, the "Duserra", "Bijoya-Dashami" for Bengali. Thus, the Durga puja, started by "Sri-Ram", turns into a Puja of "Sri Ram" or "Lord Krishna" for non-bengali people.

Many of the readers will agree that Bengali are considered to be the most emotional of all the inhabitants of India. The emotion during the time of Durga Puja remains so high that, be it outside of West Bengal (Delhi, Mumbai, etc.), outside of India (as in Bangladesh, USA, UK, everywhere), they worship goddess Durga like they do at Kolkata, West Bengal. The memories of Durga Puja in West Bengal the minds of the older generations are still very alive in most of the Bengalis around the world. The changes from "normal" puja to "theme" puja, which orginated from Kolkata, is now being widely followed all over the world whereever possible. Let me explain the "theme" concept in a few words. The theme can be any concept that will be depicted in the external and internal decoration of the "Pandal", the place where the Durga Idol will stay, along with the Durga Idol itself. The theme can be a very rural picture of a almost unknown culture of West-Bengal, say, the "Swantal" village (a renowned tribe of West Bengal). So, entering into the "Puja", you suddenly will feel that you are at a Swantal village. The goddess idol may be created with blakish wood as the other idols of gods and godesses worshiped by the tribes. The theme may be "Tom & Jerry", where, other than the actual idols of the Goddess and her family members, everything is to be with a touch of "Tom & Jerry". In the attached photo, you can visualize, the idols are even designed as the idols of "Radha - Krishna" as depicted in paintings found at "Rajasthan". Nowadays the "Theme Puja" is almost everywhere, even at Delhi, Mumbai, Nagpur, etc. The Durga-Puja, has been being changed into "Theme-Puja" in most of the cases.

Only except the Puja conducted by "Ram-Krishna-Mission"s all over the world, much emphasis towards the correctness of the "Durga-Puja" according to the perfect schedule and perfection of the recitations of the "Mantra"s are avoided in most of the "Puja"s. Signifying, Puja is more for relaxation, rejuvenation, recharging of energy for the Bengali people, more than a ritual. My point is, be it Bengali Puja or not, we are moving away from the concept of "Puja" in general as a ritual of Bengali hindus and enjoying that very much. It's the enjoyment, the reunions, the freedom, the relaxation, the rejuvenation of vitality, that matters.

Love - Aaj Kal - The truth

Are you a responsible daughter?
Yes.
Yeah jawab such hai. The answer is true.
Is your boyfriend 13 years younger than you?
Yes.
Yeah jawab such hai. The answer is true.
You feel guilty in saying "no" to his marriage proposal?
Yes.
Yeah jawab such hai. The answer is true.
Do you regret in compromising your carrier twice for your family?
No.
Yeah jawab such hai. The answer is true.
Do you still love your ex-husband?
Yes.
Yeah jawab such hai. The answer is true.
...
Do you really love your boyfriend?
Yes.
Yeah jawab such nehi hai. The answer is not true.

These questions were asked to "Rupa Ganguly", the renowned actress of Kolkata, in the renowned reality show "Such Ka Samna" (Facing the truth.) in star plus. The game show had it's final episode of this season. As we already know that this reality / game show has become such a controversial one that many of the renowned journalists in different news media has written against it and wanted this show to be banned. It seemed that knowing the truth about ones life, many near ones of the person facing "Such ka samna" had to change their attitude, their lifestyles, their views to the concerned person. Some even tried to commit suicide knowing about the past life of their beloved ones and feeling betrayed especially in commitment like marriage,love and sex lives.

I am not a fan of Rupa Gangualy. I didn't know much about her lifestyle, though according to the local film magazines, her lifestyle is pretty controversial. I adored her way to live her own life with full of responsibilities both as an actress and a family woman, yet keeping a balance between the two. The way she justified her answers were really very logical and touching. Even the host Rajeev Khandelwal got very much impressed knowing the attitude of her towards life.

I am writing this just to agree with a viewpoint of her's. First, she loves someone who is younger than her. Then she denies to marry him, though she is staying with him. Then she admits that she is not very sure about having a marriage like institution with her present boy friend, she doesn't want to spoil his life. She wants him to wait another 10 years, to let him be of 40 and her 53. Good decision. Then she admits that she still loves her ex-husband and when explaining about the mistake (lie according to the polygraph test) the machine made about the truth about loving her boyfriend, she admits that, at the age of 42 the word "love" to a man/woman is very "flexible" a concept. Though she believes that she loves her boyfriend, she does that with a confusion, an indecision in her mind. That's why, it has been detected as a lie.

I think she is correct. "Love" is a feeling of a man/woman that changes with time. Leaving aside a "love" towards all other relations and all other living or non-living things, even if we stick to the meaning of love as loving a spouse, partner, beloved, boy or girlfriend, the meaning changes with time. A person who fall in love may fall in love many times and each time the feeling of insecurity increases or decreases depending upon the partner. And, in my opinion, it's nothing to do with responsibility. Most of the apparently responsible persons have the "other man" or "other woman" in their lives. It actually depends upon the lifestyle you are going to choose, your commitment to your partner or spouse. Many a people get habituated to live a special love life beyond their normal love life. The attraction to the "prohibited" is the "key" of such relationship, mostly ruining the base of the life and families of many individuals.

That justifies two things. Love is somewhat a chemical (hormonal) reaction in human body. It's a habit to fall in love, but love itself is not a habit.
Though even Rabindranath Tegore has mentioned in many of his works that "love" can be divided into two or more "lover"s (in "Sesher Kabita"), and he is correct absolutely, one should avoid to grow the habit of falling in love. So no "Love Aaj Kal"(Love now and then), love Aaj, love Kal.